By Douglas V. Gibbs
The NFL has pissed me off with all of the social justice garbage. America is the least racist country in the world. We just came off of a black man as President, and opportunities for all Americans including making millions as a sports star are available to all Americans. If there are disperities, it's not because of American History or white privilege, it's because of liberal political policies that have made it a political aim to keep minorities in poverty so that they keep voting Democrat.
That all said, I am a huge sports fan and this scamdemic garbage has me pretty ticked about what it has done to my sports viewing opportunities. The response of the leagues to the "let's seek peace through being violent" social justice crap also has me at odds with them. I thoroughly enjoyed the XFL when it made its comeback in 2020, and was saddened when the season was ended prematurely thanks to political motivated scamdemic protocols.
Imagine how jazzed I was that Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson joined his ex-wife and a billion-dollar corporation to buy the XFL as it was working its way towards bankruptcy? And they got the league for the bargain price of only $15 billion. I am sure The Rock has bought beach houses for more.
Now, let's talk about how to make the league successful.
You cannot win trying to compete with the NFL. You must create your own niche, and that way all you have to compete against is yourself.
That's why past leagues always fail. They try to go head-to-head with the NFL, and they try to bring football to cities who are already happy with having NFL teams.
The XFL's most successful teams were the Houston Roughnecks and the St. Louis Battle Hawks. The latter was in a football starved city that has lost two NFL franchises in my lifetime, and other a city with a pretty good NFL team that lost an NFL franchise before, and was happy to embrace a winning team in the XFL. The other six cities were mistakes.
The previous football attempt at alternative football had one successful team, in San Antonio, a city starved for football and a city that has hosted a few NFL games, but has never had a team.
Those are the cities the XFL needs to be targeting. Of course L.A. and New York didn't do so well. They've got plenty to keep their residents occupied, not to mention four NFL teams between the two cities.
So, let's talk about where the six XFL teams not in Houston or St. Louis needs to move to, and why.
Seattle Dragons: Really? You put a team in the same city as where Russell Wilson plays? How about Portland, Oregon? That way, you get the Pacific Northwest, but you are using a large city with no NFL team (but they have an NBA team, proving they can support a professional franchise). As for the name? I considered Portland Riot, but perhaps the Portland Timbers, Portland Cascadians, or Portland Lumberjacks would be more appropriate.
Los Angeles Wildcats: LA has the Chargers and the Rams, and no room for Spring football. Even the Arena League found LA a tough place to survive in. Yet, nearby, we have two markets starving for professional football. To the south, San Diego lost the Chargers, and would probably embrace a local team. I think, with such a heavy Navy and Marine military presence, the San Diego Dreadnoughts, San Diego Warriors, or San Diego Destroyers might be fun. The other nearby market is the Inland Empire (a.k.a. Riverside/San Bernardino). How about the Riverside Imperials, Riverside Monarchs, or the Inland Empire Gems?
Dallas Renegades: Why put a team where the Cowboys are king when to the south is a city large enough, and hungry enough, for their own team? San Antonio is always in the conversation for an NFL team, and always does well when minor leagues house themselves there, so why not San Antonio instead of Dallas? And the name of the team is obvious. The San Antonio Alamos.
Tampa Bay Vipers: The Tampa team does the same thing the Dallas and L.A. teams did ... put a team where it shouldn't be right next to where it should be. Orlando is hungry for their own team, feeling dissed by their neighbors in Florida (Miami, Tampa, and Jacksonville). And with all of the amusement parks around the Orlando area, a pro football team would fit right in as just another attraction. We can call them the Orlando Coasters.
D.C. Defenders: The city already has an NFL team, despite it now not knowing what to call itself, and to the north by northeast there's like half a dozen more NFL teams in the area. Do you know where there isn't any pro sports, and there should be? The Norfolk area. With the Navy's presence there, the choice is obvious. The Norfolk Commodores.
New York Guardians: Putting another pro team in New York City is like trying to put a new burrow there. Nobody will notice. I say, move the team west to a city that will more likely appreciate it, like Columbus, Ohio or Louisville, Kentucky. Even better would be Memphis, Tennessee, a city the NFL has courted, considered and rejected a number of times. If ever there was a city hungry for football, Memphis is it. And just to piss off the social justice warriors who like to tear down statues, call them the Memphis Grays.
Salt Lake City Swarm (nod to the beehive State)
Tucson Heat (Phoenix's nearby big city little brother)
San Jose Steelheads (with the Raiders going to Oakland, non-San Francisco fans want someone to root for)
Sacramento Zephyrs (A city large enough for a pro team, and for a while pulled off a CFL team
Birmingham Marauders (the south loves their football, so give them some)
Raleigh Smokers (Why not? Charlotte's been pretty successful)